"Faux Paté and imitation Chex Mix" (California)

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"Faux Paté and imitation Chex Mix" (California)

Postby art... on Tue May 15, 2012 10:12 am

In what is seen as an innovative cost saving measure, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has proposed 'sweeping' (No pun intended) changes to the long standing program that provides meals to elderly shut-ins. The 'Meals-On-Wheels' program is being revamped and renamed. The new name 'Wheels-On-Meals' will reflect the program's new reliance on using road-kill as the primary protein source. Locally sourced, it is expected that this new program will also reunite many retirees with lost pets. Mister Romney noted that those individuals would also be free to use their now unneeded cans of pet food as 'Pâté' and boxes of dry kibble as 'Chex Mix' to suppliment their dinners. While Mr. Romney admits he has never eaten Chex Mix he assured reporters that his household(s) staff and help has and found it "Delicious".
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."---Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Re: "Faux Paté and imitation Chex Mix" (California)

Postby ozzie on Tue May 15, 2012 2:45 pm

As Mr. Romney will of course tell us, this not only saves money in the shortfall, but in the long run also simply eliminates all those elderly welfare abusers.

I have to circulate this little "news tidbit" amongst friends and family . . . .
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Re: "Faux Paté and imitation Chex Mix"

Postby art... on Wed May 16, 2012 12:57 am

In a small pilot program of the new 'Wheels-On-Meals' program in Spitdribble County, Miss. the "Hushed Puppies" recipe beat out "Treaded 'n' Breaded Opossum" 3–1 in a blind taste test. The non-blind participants declined both offerings...

BTW: Who is on record as saying: "As a member of the stock exchange I'd suck their brains out with a straw, sell the widows and go into South American zinc!".

Was it: Monty Python, Firesign Theater or Willard M. Romney?

I know it's tough... Here's a hint: It's not the one whose favorite comic and role model is C. Montgomery Burns.
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."---Dwight D. Eisenhower
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